Old wine? New wine? Who knows? But you could sure smell it on his breath, law enforcement officials state.

The TV preacher’s Mercedes Benz was going 93 mph when police spotted him. So who is this modern-day A.A. Allen?
(more…)

My guess? “Self-deportation.”

What a surreal day in the world of politics. While Rick Perry was endorsing Newt Gingrich for president, Newt’s ex-wife was spilling the beans about their nasty breakup.

Best-selling Christian author Tim LaHaye recently endorsed Gingrich, but after reading the latest allegations, it’s entirely possible that the former House Speaker will be Left Behind by South Carolina’s Christian conservative voters.

Meanwhile, certified results released today, show Rick Santorum WINNING the Iowa caucuses — though the race is so close, Republican party officials have decided to call it a draw.

Mitt Romney, speaking in South Carolina about his income, told the crowd: “I get speakers’ fees from time to time, but not very much.”

So, how much is “not very much”?

a.) $27,500 per year?
b.) $82,500 per year?
c.) $192,500 per year?
d.) $275,000 per year?
e.) “Not very much” more than $300,000 per year?
(more…)

This just in. Interior Secretary Salazar says a controversial paraphrase of a quote by Martin Luther King which appears on his national monument will be fixed.

Precisely how it will be fixed is unclear, the story says.

The monument quotes King as saying: “I was a drum major for justice, peace, and righteousness.” But Arkansas native Maya Angelou says the paraphrase makes King look like “an arrogant twit.”

Having seen the wording myself, I’m convinced it won’t be too difficult to patch up the error. There’s not room for King’s entire quote, but it would be easy to change it to say either:

“He was a drum major for justice, peace and righteousness” or simply “A drum major for justice, peace and righteousness.”

It would probably look a lot like this…

Yes, if you click the above link, it will take you to a story from ABC’s Nightline titled “Polyamory on Rise Among Divorce Wary Young Americans.”

So what concrete, statistical evidence is there that polyamory is “on the rise among divorce-wary young Americans?” None that I could find in this story.

In fact, the printed story doesn’t feature ANY “Young Americans” who are engaging in polyamory.

The polyamorous trio in this story are ages 49, 44 and 34.

Reminds me of a story I read (I think it was in The Oregonian), about “middle-aged” people in their “50s and 60s” who were reentering the dating scene.

Which raises an interesting question — When do you go from being “young” to being “middle aged” to being “beyond middle aged?”

UPDATE: ABC News has altered the headline so that it no longer refers to the trio as “young.”

How many centuries do you have to spend in purgatory to wash this blight from your soul?

The Forward has an extraordinary story today about the death of Adolf Hitler’s favorite vocal artist. Hitler helped make him rich. He performed at a concentration camp. And – though his wife was Jewish – he maintained a cozy relationship with The Human Personification of Evil throughout World War II.

Johannes Heesters was 108 years old.

The Northwest Daily Florida News says “synthetic substances” are to blame for a local man’s Redneck Riviera religious experience:

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, Rhett Daniel Burleson broke into his father’s home and was lying on the kitchen floor. Burlseon was “raving about Jesus, Mike Huckabee, and how people were ‘full of (expletive).’ ”

The deputy asked Burleson what was going on and he yelled that he needed to speak to Mike Huckabee and demanded that he be delivered to him…”

Instead, they delivered Burleson to a local jail cell.

When I think of extraordinary finishes, few can top Secretariat’s Triple-Crown-clinching race in the 1973 Belmont Stakes.

Secretariat and Sham are shoulder to shoulder early in the race, but then Sham fades and Secretariat begins to pull away.

He’s ahead by 5 lengths, then 10 lengths. Fifteen lengths, then 20, then 25. By the end of the race, Secretariat is so far ahead that the TV cameraman is unable to capture the winner and the also-rans in the same shot.

I thought of this race this afternoon as I digested the latest Gallup tracking poll numbers in the Republican presidential primary.

Romney was once trailing Gingrich, but passed him in December. After Iowa, Romney began to pull away and the rest of the field began to fade. The trend accelerated after the New Hampshire primaries.

Gallup’s latest polling shows Romney with 34 percent. Romney climbed three percentage points overnight, while Gingrich dropped two, to 14 percent. Tellingly, Romney is now polling more than Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Rick Perry combined.

South Carolina appears to be the final firewall for Gov. Romney’s opponents. If he wins there, he could sweep the GOP primaries — something no non-incumbent has ever done.

Yes, Pat Robertson, the former Republican presidential candidate and wealthy televangelist says the Lord has spoken to him about what awaits America in 2012 — and who will win the presidency in November.

Fortunately, Robertson had a yellow legal pad handy to jot down these prophetic utterances.

As Robertson tells it, God told him that doom, gloom, disaster and disintegration is looming for our country.

That would shut me up and sober me up and cause me to fall on my face in reverence. But not Mr. Robertson. He prefers to play “20 Questions” with the Almighty.

You know how that works. You can only ask God ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. And you only get 20 questions.

God says: ‘I’m thinking of a plague that will hit the United States in 2012. It will bring maximum stress and peril. Chaos and paralysis.’

And you say: “Is this plague an animal, vegetable or mineral?”

And God replies: “Only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions are allowed. You’ve only got 19 questions left.”

Well, when Robertson plays the game, he cuts to the chase.

“Is it an EMP [Electromagnetic Pulse]?” Robertson asks Jehovah.

“No,” God reportedly says.

“Cosmic or solar radiation?”

“No,” the Creator states.

“Is it Mayan galaxy alignment?”

“No, it’s not that,” the Alpha and Omega replies.

“Iran or North Korea nuclear threat?”

“No,” the Root of Jesse responds.

“Earthquakes or volcanoes?”

“No,” the Ancient of Days declares.

“A massive power failure?”

“No,” the Lion of Judah announces.

Finally, Robertson runs out of guesses or God runs out of patience and the game of “Name that Plague” wraps up. But the suspense is killing the preacher, so he finally asks God “What is it?”

And, if you believe Robertson’s tale, God tells him.

To see what God supposedly said, click here.